My Check in for the day , would in clude that I feel fearful, vulnerable, broken , crushed. I know and am realizing the depth of my need. Even the heart of my beloved fails. We all fail. We choose to hurt each other. As long as we keep running , we deceive ourselves. God thank You that You are constant. I want to run into You. I want to hide in the Cleft Of the Rock, under the Shadow of the Most High, where death nor life can separate me from Your life. I have been struggling with my part of this journey. God, help me. Even when the one who we're supposed to be one with (on this earth, in this life) does not want that, and rejection flourishes, I will abide under Him. I am not second in His eyes. He is not second in my eys. Christ will remain first. He is the author of my life, He has set His seal upon my heart. Emptyhanded, but alive in Your hands God, I am . Humbled by the love that You give. God help me to forgive as You forgave me. Help me to release him to You, fully, completely, and to do what I must in order to choose my actions and attitudes wisely. I feel ripped apart. Who am I? I am Yours, and Yours alone.
02 Mar 20 REST
Trust yourself. Do not take anything personally. This is a part of the teachings of the philosophy of ancient yoga. Amidst this truth I had a realization – I needed to stop. Having returned from phase 2 of military training less than a month ago, I was already on the hunt for a civilian job to supplement my reservist duties, applying for financial aid and summer college courses, and trying to take on all the normal scheduling that fell within the realms of co-parenting. On top of that, I signed up for yoga instructor training. This was amazing, phenomenal, and brought enhancement to my meditations and practice I’d been doing for the better part of a decade. While none of this brought on any adverse effects, I had not planned for the exhaustion. After 3 weeks of hitting the gates running (literally, out of the airport, and into my sons’ arms), I knew my energy stores were depleting rapidly. So, I had to ask myself - w...
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