Lydee Central

As you may have noticed, my blog looks different. Just in time for Autumn. I love the smell of leaves, apples, and the cool, crisp air. I think fall and winter are two of my favorite seasons. You may also have noticed about 5 of my postings are gone. Ihave agreed that these were more appropriate for a journal that I actually handwrite in. I still feel uncomfortable having deleted these entries, but I think as time goes on, I'll just get used to it. I am having such a battle trying to follow Christ, even though people close to me refuse. I bring up scripture, talk about these struggles & what God's standard is (note: I am not denying that we fail at this & that we struggle, but the point is that it IS a struggle, not just a laying down of or giving up on who God calls us to be), yet I get no recollection of sin, not even admittance that it's there. Sin is like a necrotizing fascitis or pressure ulcer. It develops in stages, and, if left untreated, the ulcer becomes

Natalie Grant - Perfect PeopleFrom the album Relentless Never let him see you when your breaking..Never let him see you when you fall... Thats How We Live, and Thats How We TryTell The world you've got it all together You never let him see whats underneath We cover it upwith the crooked smile but it only lasts for a little while ( chorus)There's no such thing as perfect people There's no such thing as a perfect life So come as you are, broken and scarred, lift up your heart and be amazed, and be changed by a perfect God Suddenly its like a weight is liftedwhen you hear the words that you are loved He knows where you are and were you've been and you never have to go there again (chorus) Who lived, and died, to give you life to heal our inperfections so look up, and see love, and let grace be enough There's no such thing as perfect people , There's no such thing as a perfect life So come as you are, broken and scarred, lift up your heart and be amazed and be chang

You hold the world within Your hands, and see the tears that fall. Through every storm, through every trial, you're enough, you're always enough. I rejoice for my Savior reigns I rejoice for He lives in this, God on high, He has set me free .... Worthy is the Lord In a dry and weary land, Lord you are the rain.... -Casting Crowns-

Hard times require excess amount of trust. Wrapped in 8 years of naivety , I followed you. I rested, as you said. Laid my arms down, to be brought up by yours. Warmth, life, and joy. Why this day? Why now... Why did you? Questions left unanswered. I am at a loss. Broken glass, once was clear & sheer & pretty. My eyes turn dark, fog overwhelms. Help. I'm drowning, but not in love. Anger, frustration- hot fiery tears burn down my face. Jaded, my eyes are open. Give me time. Let me think. I run to You. What do I do? Love? Again? How do I help him? Love? Answer me, please. I wait. Quiet, peace ensues, persues me. I am consumed, fire out. I know my calling. My purpose in all. Words spoken enough words spoken, action required. I will wear this ring. Let your yes be yes He said. I said yes. I go forward, stumbling, leaning, forward. I do it for Him alone. Selfish thoughts banished by the needs at hand - not mine.

I am in need of some serious silence this week.... desperately trying to quiet the monster inside as it were. I find anger, annoyance & frustration to be debilitating. As is the case, I am falling , free falling before the cross. I once again was reminded that I am unable to do anything on my own - man, that's such a harsh reality! So, this morning, I am listening to Lifehouse. I am also attempting to clear my brain and start over from the week previous - anyone for a mind detox? I am not going to watch t.v. this week or next, or maybe for the entire month - I will blog and let you all know how it goes. I feel that this will help with sobering my heart, mind & emotions. Maybe more worship therapy will do me some good. I had been contemplating ending my blog for a while....however, I found this to be contradindicative to my (God -given) loud mouth honesty persona. Enough said. Just want to shout out to my babies - I loved spending the weekend with you guys!

It is official - we just recieved new codes in our medical world to document the presence of H1-N1 ... what does that mean? Well, it means that it is a SIGNIFICANT virus - has caused mortality, and now, the government and other health care organizations are going to track it. Stay tuned for more health care updates. The new health care quarter begins in October, so we will know more as time goes on. There are also going to be new, more specific notifications about the type of preventative & immun0logical care people are seeking & recieving (e.g. if you refuse immunizations for your children etc...). So, stay tuned to healthcare. I'm signing off for the day.... going to see my babes!

I had forgotten what it is like to be in my teens. I have read through and seen some of the most excruciating articles to date. Teen aged women being formed (battered, thrown, carved, whipped) into a culture of depravity. I am reminded why I hang onto my Beloved, Jesus. You may ask to what am I referring. Just go to your local shopping center or mega mall and observe the young women. They are hanging onto, throwing themselves at boys, young boys, who they think are secure, strong men & friends that (they mistakenly believe) are confident. They fail to see that they, like so many others in their lives will too, let them down. The sad part is, the girls who are in this predicament/mindset of depravity won't realize this until they give up a huge part of themselves to the insecure boyfriend/friend. Society & our culture has (and will continue undoubtedly to) failed them. They've been abused & continue to seek relationships of strength, safety, and security. Unfortunate