Mother-ing?
Thoughts today center around the efficacy of my mothering. How does one even begin to measure such a thing? Mothering takes years, and apparently, despite all a mother's best efforts, there is no guarantee her offspring will grow up to be loving, productive, self-sufficient adults. Hmmm, so is this hte paradox of parenthood? One of many. This is the realm in which I feel constant defeat, empowerment, frustration, and complete love- all in the same breath. How on earth, then, will I ever know if what I did was, "good"? If so, will it be "good" in my eyes, or in God's eyes, or my spouse's eyes, or the children's father's eyes? Who? Who determines my ability to parent & the outcome of the results? Who is conducting this unofficial audit? Sigh, so, I suppose, at the very least, I am desperately grasping for the hope that my childrens' futures will be bright, full of hope, and that they can learn from the superfluous screw ups that I ha