Children
Here are my thoughts on family planning....
About 1 week after we had our second baby (my profile picture is of Sam), we were asked the age old question of, "do you plan to have more?" To which my husband would reply , "yes - we're thinking we'll have about 4 children, Lord willing." To his dismay, I would always glare at him like he'd decided our future without my consent. He would be very confused, and often hurt. His reaction was valid. It's not like we haven't talked before about how many children we'd like to have, it's just that for me I was taught you do one thing at a time, and, well, we've got many things going on. For my type AAAa (I wasn't sure that I wanted to include 4 major A's, but I think I'm on the verge of almost 4 a's, hence the small type a), I see having children, working, and going back to school as all major life events. My husband is more of a "take it as it comes and keep God first" kind of guy. So, we're living with his family (whom I thank very much) so as not to build up debt with him going back to school (full time), and wanting me to only work part time (32hrs/week), and him part time. Add in the mix children and you also may be asking, "what the world are you two thinking?" My hubby doesn't believe the world should value the things it does, but because the world favors a certain progression of life, (usually school, professional job, marriage, babies, their school, retirement) you could say we broke the mold. And, because of my personality type, it has taken me a looonnnggg time (and a lot of God chiseling out my heart)for me to catch up with my husband on when to have children (spent 5 years together in marriage by ourselves, just working lots & having fun). So, am I okay with 4 or 5 or 6 children? I know I will be when the time comes, but God works on me one child at a time. Right now 2 is all I can handle. For a while, I was sure I could only handle 1 child, until we tried for the second one. I think that's who God has made me to be. I feel guilty a lot because I see these awesome women who just go on and on about how they want more kids, or even before they have children they talk about how many they want, and what kind of a family structure they'll have. Then there were couples who weren't able to have children, and in both circles of talk, I found myself feeling scared out of my mind (at being a mother), and guilty (for feeling scared & being leery about having kids).Honestly, back when Kev & I were in the first couple years of marriage, I was wide-eyed scared about the talk of having children. Like, me, be able to raise kids? I don't think I could do it! Kevin is a father, to the core. That's how God has made him. I think he was ready right away to have kids, but he was patiently waiting for God to work on me. I am enjoying motherhood to the fullest, but, I know it's because of God's timing & shaping of my heart over time. After all, stone takes time to shape & form.
About 1 week after we had our second baby (my profile picture is of Sam), we were asked the age old question of, "do you plan to have more?" To which my husband would reply , "yes - we're thinking we'll have about 4 children, Lord willing." To his dismay, I would always glare at him like he'd decided our future without my consent. He would be very confused, and often hurt. His reaction was valid. It's not like we haven't talked before about how many children we'd like to have, it's just that for me I was taught you do one thing at a time, and, well, we've got many things going on. For my type AAAa (I wasn't sure that I wanted to include 4 major A's, but I think I'm on the verge of almost 4 a's, hence the small type a), I see having children, working, and going back to school as all major life events. My husband is more of a "take it as it comes and keep God first" kind of guy. So, we're living with his family (whom I thank very much) so as not to build up debt with him going back to school (full time), and wanting me to only work part time (32hrs/week), and him part time. Add in the mix children and you also may be asking, "what the world are you two thinking?" My hubby doesn't believe the world should value the things it does, but because the world favors a certain progression of life, (usually school, professional job, marriage, babies, their school, retirement) you could say we broke the mold. And, because of my personality type, it has taken me a looonnnggg time (and a lot of God chiseling out my heart)for me to catch up with my husband on when to have children (spent 5 years together in marriage by ourselves, just working lots & having fun). So, am I okay with 4 or 5 or 6 children? I know I will be when the time comes, but God works on me one child at a time. Right now 2 is all I can handle. For a while, I was sure I could only handle 1 child, until we tried for the second one. I think that's who God has made me to be. I feel guilty a lot because I see these awesome women who just go on and on about how they want more kids, or even before they have children they talk about how many they want, and what kind of a family structure they'll have. Then there were couples who weren't able to have children, and in both circles of talk, I found myself feeling scared out of my mind (at being a mother), and guilty (for feeling scared & being leery about having kids).Honestly, back when Kev & I were in the first couple years of marriage, I was wide-eyed scared about the talk of having children. Like, me, be able to raise kids? I don't think I could do it! Kevin is a father, to the core. That's how God has made him. I think he was ready right away to have kids, but he was patiently waiting for God to work on me. I am enjoying motherhood to the fullest, but, I know it's because of God's timing & shaping of my heart over time. After all, stone takes time to shape & form.
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