RANT July 2018 Bloggity – Relationship Conundrums

July 2, 2018

Bloggity – Relationship Conundrums 

Is It Even Worth It? Cynicism vs. Realism

In a country where seemingly we have lost all capability for males to respect women (no doubt from this country having its origins in Patriarchal times), is it even worth it to attempt to develop a meaningful relationship? Have the bounds of sabotage run too deep?  How on earth can a successful woman  truly trust someone  when she’s so much at risk? 

A couple of things I can attest to: 

1)    Relationships involve risk. We’re all imperfect human beings, and, as such, our perfections and imperfections will surface at some point in time. The good news is à We are constantly evolving. No one can choose your life for you; you are radically responsible for every decision you make, come what may. That is good news, or at least, to the person who refuses to adopt the victimization mentality, it is. (Fact or article x 2) 

2)    Relationships provide meaningful connections we could not otherwise experience. Heck, some people like Reuters, Huffington, and NYU (cite other sources) state that we all need human connection, on an intellectual, emotional, and physical level.  My inner cynic finds that fact pretty damn annoying.  My inner Aquarian and humanitarian thinks it’s fantastic and stutters back at my cynic with “but of course it’s the truth!”. 

3)    The question remains, of what happens when the risks outweigh the benefits.  I am a single mother of three children for whom I am completely and ultimately responsible for providing for, caring for, etc.. for.  I do not have any expectation of help, and (to my detriment I’m afraid), have often times recoiled in asking for any help whatsoever as I do not wish to burden anyone. You see, I understand the “radical responsibility” for choices, and have an intuitive knowledge of consequences and ripple effects my choices have on other people – including my decision to have babies.  

4)    Fact is, our culture in America is NOT geared yet toward those who strive for agility, flexibility, and evolution of their own life. Meaning ? It’s pretty much virtually impossible to have a career you love, family, and be a single parent, oh yes – and , living without debt.  If you want one or the other  or even two of those factors, you will literally pay for it for the rest of your life, and most likely, with the stress involved, you will  pay even more dearly. It’s a crappy capitalistic system. Why? Once your health starts failing and said offspring don’t want to put up with you (because after all, you chose your stressors for the most part), either you end up in assisted living, and/or on medications that the pharmaceutical industry has constructed to appeal to the deepest parts of physio neurological functioning in your brain so that you’ll be dependent until the day you pass away. 

WHAT, THEN, MAKES ANY OF THIS WORTH LIVING FOR ? 

Glad you asked. Now that we’re full circle, we come back to the “r” word – relationship.  Only problem again, is that I am a single mother.  I already take care of my children. In a world of patriarchy, it is a culture that will use and try to push women into taking care of men and kids. Gross. 

Slavery ended here, or supposedly it did. I think it rather disguised and morphed itself due to whichever politicians feared they’d lose the “behind every good man is a better woman” patronization.  Puke.  

 I was married for 11 years, and have dated (both single fathers , and those who have no children) for 5. In those years I have developed some key understandings that  I will no longer deny nor apologize for. I am capable of more than most. Really. I can hustle , work it, and make a decent sized salary in the absence of a degree that will take care of my three children and myself. I refuse to tolerate  bull. If you cant hustle and make it on your own, then get out. I will not make more room or capacity to have yet another person dependent on me. That was my EX husband. There is obviously a reason he is the ex.  I refuse to take care of other peoples’ kids. I have held to that since I was 4 years old. I am now 35.  I am not changing. Does that make you mad or sad? Too bad, move over, again, I do not tolerate laziness,  proclaimed incompetence, etc..RANT out.