02 Mar 20 REST





A close up of a cat lying on a bed Description automatically generatedTrust yourself. Do not take anything personally.  This is a part of the teachings of the philosophy of ancient yoga. Amidst this truth I had a realization – I needed to stop.  Having returned from phase 2 of military training less than a month ago, I was already on the hunt for a civilian job to supplement my reservist duties, applying for financial aid and summer college courses, and trying to take on all the normal scheduling that fell within the realms of co-parenting. 

On top of that, I signed up for yoga instructor training. This was amazing, phenomenal, and brought enhancement to my meditations and practice I’d been doing for the better part of a decade. While none of this brought on any adverse effects, I had not planned for the exhaustion. After 3 weeks of hitting the gates running (literally, out of the airport, and into my sons’ arms), I knew my energy stores were depleting rapidly.

 So, I had to ask myself - what were my absolutes? What had I committed to that was immovable? 
1)    The military. Always x at least 6 years, hopefully more.  
2)    My children. They are growing up. They NEED me, at least in some capacity, before they are all out of the nest. I still have an obligation to bring them up, provide a safe and stable environment for their hearts and souls to rest, revive, learn, and grow. 
3)    Finding some sort of way to bring in revenue. 
a.     Could this be done by utilizing my new EMT skills I had learned while in the military? I did attend job fairs, to which no outcome has presented itself- yet. 
b.     Could this be accomplished by using my podcasts and my blog? Why not give it a whirl? The hardest part is organizing both of them (still an evasive mystery). 
c.     The older routes – through compliance and teaching. Though these are not exactly my passion per say, they help pave the road so that I am able to pursue my passion or purpose work. 

One thing I do know about energy – it flows. It is influenced by those around you, by how you choose to spend your time.  In this, I know that though my yoga practice is important, and I will teach others and bring them alongside me in the journey, I am not to be focused at this time in teaching formally. I still have a LOT to learn in MANY areas regarding healing, functional health and wellness, and applying that in different populations, making certain that individuals are considered in the realm I am called to serve – the military. 

I realized I can only do and focus on so much. So, for now, I’ve cut out yoga instructing. I have two solid job interviews on the line, while I don’t worry about making the cut so much or not [i]
(thanks to my folks, making a space for me to land should my finances sputter out) I want to put some focused effort into those endeavors. 

Blogging – ya’ll know how writing goes.
A person and girl posing for the camera Description automatically generated[ii]
 When your mind speak is there, it is THERE, or – it isn’t, or it’s very, very dark. No matter the weather, you must seize the moment with writing. I have learned over time (and am still realizing) how that portion of my heart appears on paper – trying not to cerebrize it too much, or cause analysis paralysis. I need time and space in order to maintain an organic component that says – it’s Lyd! Or… oh, it’s Lyd… Either way, I’m here homies! 

For now, this is my life. My time. How I spend it. All are decision-based.  This is wildly freeing, and beautiful. We all need to take care of our bodies, minds, and spirits. Every day I get to decide and choose how I weave my tapestry. 

I bid you all adieu for I have a date with my most wonderful little men! 

Take care of yourself, until next time .


[i] Photo copyright of Adobe Photostock
[ii] Photos are copyright of LRoehl

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